9:59 am, January 11th, 2013
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'They've waited a famously long time to get married, so you can't expect that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will just wing it when it comes to the honeymoon,' declares OK!, which has 'winged it' with most of its recent reporting about the couple.
The same publication that claimed Pitt was too fat for Jolie, and then pretended ' twice ' to have details about the couple's wedding, is now convinced that it has the scoop on where the A-listers will spend their eventual honeymoon.
According to OK! sources, the couple are 'planning the post-nuptial trip with assiduous care, seeking to create just the right romantic ' and exotic ' balance.'
Sounds great.
So where are they supposedly going?
'Destinations being discussed include Bora Bora, Maldives and Sri Lanka,' a so-called 'insider' tells the tabloid. 'But they've also been offered free rein on Johnny Depp's private islands in the Bahamas.'
Oh, so OK! is going with four possible locations.
Maybe this 'insider' is the same clueless speculator who fed OK! a bogus story last February about Jolie being pregnant with twins.
But that's not all!
OK! is also allegedly privy to details about the couple's upcoming bedroom activities.
'Angelina's commissioned some very special lingerie of the finest silk for the wedding night, and has asked designer L'Wren Scott's best seamstress to make it for her,' the 'insider' reports to the magazine.
OK! then goes on to discuss Pitt's specific arrangements to make the honeymoon a 'sensual delight,' specifics about his and hers massages, a 'moonlit horse ride along the beach,' a 'champagne balloon ride,' and lots of other lovely-sounding details.
All of which is especially funny, because according to previous shoddy OK! guesswork, Jolie and Pitt 'secretly' married back in 2011.
In other words: OK! has NO CLUE what it's talking about with Pitt and Jolie.
None.
Whenever the magazine writes in vivid detail about the couple's wedding or honeymoon plans, it's doing so completely blind.
That's the case here.
A source close to the situation laughed off the OK! report, calling it 'pure speculation.'
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